Q: My husband has been an occasional snorer from early on in our relationship, but what once was a cute little growl has recently evolved into a bed-rattling, suck-the-paint-off-the-wall bear snore. He has tried everything, but it doesn't work. I hate the thoughts I have about shoving my sweet husband out of the bed, but I need to get a good night's sleep too. What can we try?
A: First of all, does he admit to the snoring? Oftentimes, people are embarrassed of the fact that they snore and will not own up to it.
The two of you shouldn't take snoring lightly. Not only can it lead to various health problems, but it's a serious issue that can affect a marriage because it usually leads to sleeping in separate beds. In some relationships, the person snoring thinks it's his or her partner's problem to deal with. In reality, it is the snorer's problem to fix.
Reasons for increased snoring can be a gain in weight, smoking, alcohol consumption or a deviated septum. If your husband has gained a lot of weight or taken up smoking, maybe he could work on making some lifestyle changes. So, how do you stop it?
I have heard of some ridiculous solutions to snoring including: sewing a tennis ball into the back of your pajamas to keep you from rolling onto your back; sucking on a baby pacifier; and electric shock therapy generated from a wrist device that detects when you begin to snore. I personally would not suggest any of these solutions.
Sleep clinics have been known to help some, and there are so many products on the market that it is hard to know where to begin. Snoring chin straps to force you to breathe through your nose are popular as are mouthpieces that prevent your tongue from falling back. These both seem highly uncomfortable though.
Have you tried earplugs? Your description of your husband's snoring seems like you may be past this solution, but you never know. In addition to construction worker-grade earplugs, some people also find sound relief from running a fan, air purifier or a white noise machine. And since research shows that half the adult population snores to some degree, be patient with your spouse because one day the snoree may become the snorer.
I would do everything in your power as a couple to find a solution that works so that you can continue to sleep in the same bed and both get a good night's rest. Remember that nobody is perfect, and I am sure you have some pretty annoying habits that your husband must also deal with on a daily basis.
Q: Recently, I felt like I was in an adult version of the teen movie, Mean Girls, after attending a friend's 30th birthday party. Not knowing anyone except my friend and the party host, my husband and I found ourselves sitting with the few guests who would include us in their conversations. Most of the other women, who knew each other well, gathered alone gossiping in the dining area like a school clique and went out of their way to make me feel excluded. After the party, my friend received text messages from the women, who told her she spent too much time with me during the party. How should I handle this rude behavior moving forward?
A: This one is easy. Instead of being offended, be flattered that they felt the need to make you the topic of their discussion for the evening. Don’t spend one minute discussing their bad behavior with your friend. Instead, be a positive influence in your friend’s life.
Ignoring grown-up mean girls' catty behavior is the greatest revenge on those who, because of their own insecurity and pettiness, may get precisely what is coming to them. These types of women are usually insecure, superficial and bored, causing them to try and create drama from nothing.
These women clearly lack maturity and empathy for the feelings of others. Use your valuable free time more wisely and hang out with a more evolved group. Life is too short for such silly games.
And to those of you who still act like mean girls, GROW UP!
