illustration by Charles Marsh
Q: I visited a new restaurant in town this week and ordered a grilled chicken sandwich for lunch, with the intent to keep it light and healthy. What was served to me could have easily fed a family of four. The two-pound chicken breast was smothered in cheese, and the fries were stacked three inches high. I ate about 1/4 of the meal, and knowing I had to run errands, sadly the rest was wasted. When did quantity replace quality?? -Sammy Ramirez
A: Trough dining, as I like to call it, has been a steadily growing trend. I am often amazed at the options presented at both sit-down and drive-through restaurants. McDonald's pioneered the way once they figured out one important element of the dining equation. Initially, as a marketing strategy, the chain offered two hamburgers for the price of one. But what individual would want to publically order two hamburgers for one meal? So to give the perception of better value, McDonald's just doubled the size of the burger. This, of course, was followed by the "super-size" phenomenon.
Other chains have followed, including Sonic with its Ring Leader Burger totaling 1,660 calories and KFC's Double Down Sandwich, containing bacon, multiple types of cheese and secret sauce pinched between two large pieces of Original Recipe chicken fillets instead of the traditional bread bun option. The best part? You don't even have to burn any of those calories by getting out of your car!
Cowtown Diner in downtown Fort Worth is proud of its "Full O Bull" dish consisting of a nine-pound chicken fried steak plus mashed potatoes with cream gravy and Texas Toast. "Eat it all and we buy it" is printed below the plate description on the menu. It should read, "Eat it all, and we provide complimentary defibrillation."
Twenty years ago, portions were significantly smaller. Two slices of pizza would total around 500 calories, and today two standard slices deliver nearly 900 calories. When you would go to the movies, you were served around five cups of popcorn versus today's tub, and a coffee with milk and sugar was a far cry from today's café mochas with whip.
But let's not fool ourselves here. Is it really the establishment's fault that you chose to devour every last morsel on your oversized platter? It's like blaming the cigarette companies for tobacco-related health issues. Put the fork down and exercise some self-control. Before you order, take a gander at a neighbor's table to determine portion size. Then, how about splitting an entrée with someone else at the table or eating half and requesting a to-go box for later?
Q: After barely making it through the holidays with relatives, now a wedding is coming up, and they will be back. They repeatedly ask me the most intrusive questions about my life. Can you help me with some answers that will shut them up once and for all? - Emily Hughes
A: "Have you set a date?" "Whatever happened with that guy you were seeing?" "When are you going to have kids?" "Are you still unemployed?" The 20 questions game from relatives can be exhausting. And you should know, they will never be satisfied.
Once you are married, they want the baby and then more babies. It never stops. Later it becomes, "When are you going to retire?" Fortunately, it is uncouth to inquire about when you will die, but you know they are probably thinking it.
There are different schools of thought for shutting down nosey family members. The first is the blunt approach. When asked about your personal life, simply say you don't care to discuss it. This, however, will more than likely raise their curiosity and lead to even more questions.
Another option is to turn the tables on them. It is just as easy for you to ask incredibly personal details about their life. Ex: "Have you had any more cosmetic procedures done recently?"
My tendency has been to have some fun with the meddlers. If they want a story, give it to them. Try these comebacks:
"Currently, I'm engaged to three guys, and I'll make my final decision after the results from the paternity test come back."
"I lost my ex in a giant corn maze last spring."
"Sticky little kid hands would mess up my white furniture."
"I'm enjoying unemployment. With all the extra time, it's so much easier to get the comfy chairs at Starbucks."
