When you love someone unconditionally, you don't always see them with clear eyes. That was the case for Bill and Bonnie Barkesdale and their child, Blake.
"Blake was born six weeks early due to complications with my pregnancy," Bonnie Barkesdale said. Doctors warned the parents that they might face learning delays and missed milestones. "Knowing what I did about child development, I knew that second children, and especially boys, could take a bit longer to develop speech than their siblings. With that in mind, and with our healthy child, Bill and I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary."
Then came a conference with the teacher in Blake's Mother's Day Out program to talk about documented events about his behavior. "Once we were clued into the problem, we noticed many things. It was like a flashlight had been focused in the darkness, and we could see clearly," she said. "They say love is blind? Bill and I are so in love with our son, we didn't see it."
The Barkesdales immediately made an appointment with their pediatrician. "The pediatrician started asking probing questions and pulled out another list of questions, trying to pinpoint what the concerns were," Barkesdale said. "After our conversation and filling out a few questionnaires, he highly advised us to call the Child Study Center and to get an evaluation for potential learning differences."
The Child Study Center (cscfw.org), founded in 1962, is a not-for-profit organization that provides children with complex developmental and behavioral disabilities diagnosis, treatment and education. It is funded through donations and events such as the 21st Children's Golf Classic, scheduled April 13 at Mira Vista Golf Club, and the Party on the Plaza, scheduled May 14 at Sundance Square in downtown Fort Worth. In the 50 years since it opened, the Child Study Center has helped more than 250,000 children through assessment, treatment and other services such as the Jane Justin School. Clinicians use more than 130 diagnoses to identify developmental disabilities.
The Barkesdales were on the waiting list for around six months until Blake was able to undergo diagnosis. "Bill and I got him immediately on the Autism Services waiting list and began to explore other options while we waited. After many hours of research and discussions with developmental pediatricians, we knew that Child Study Center was the best place for him to be," Bonnie Barkesdale said. He started treatment part-time in February 2009, just before his 3rd birthday. The organization works with family members to teach them how work and play with their child or sibling.
"The progress that my son has made is huge," she said. "A specific example is when Blake would go to the refrigerator and dangle from the handle, screaming at me. My son did not have the language to tell me what he wanted. I would have to guess or hold out each item in the refrigerator and let him point to the desired item." Today Blake tells her what he wants to eat and how to make it. He might say, "I want circle pizza, tomato sauce, cheese and pepperoni, please."
"My son can now express feelings," Barkesdale said. "The best one in the world is when he says, "Love you, Mommy." I waited so long to hear that, and I will never get tired of those three little words."
