There is something I have been curious about for a while now. It drives me crazy when I stumble across something that makes absolutely no sense. I feel compelled to find some sort of logic for the nonsense situations I stumble upon.
This week's mystery is… on-the-scene newscasters. I have nothing against the newscaster that is actually standing in front of some CURRENTLY happening disaster. Heck, I’ll DVR that sort of exciting stuff. Who doesn’t like to turn on the news and see old Sparky Wallace (yeah, that’s a fictional name) standing in front of a three-alarm blaze. Come on…that’s TV at its finest. How about the poor reporter that gets stuck to stand in the middle of a hurricane dressed like the Gorton’s Fisherman? Poor fellow is trying to hold on to his microphone and dorky slicker hat while some jerk in a dry newsroom 300 miles away asks “How ya holding up to those gale force winds, Rusty?”
My problem is on the scene reporters that aren't on any scene. What is that all about? If there is nothing going on, why is there a reporter there? It never fails. Every morning on the 5 a.m. newscast, there is some ‘newbie' reporter that is doing a non-scene report. Maybe I would accept the fact that absolutely nothing is going on behind Silver Robinson (that's a fictional name too) if they would change the name to “The Non-Scene Report.”
At least I wouldn't get jazzed up at 5 a.m. just to be let down by absolutely nothing going on. I watched a non-scene report a couple weeks ago that was happening in front of the Fort Worth courthouse. Okay, I was fairly skeptical about the amount of action that could possibly be taking place in front of a courthouse at 5:15 in the morning. Then again, what if there is really something going on? What if this really is an on-the-scene report, and I didn't believe so I changed the channel? I don't think I'd be able to forgive myself.
Well let me just say there was absolutely nothing going on. Oh, to further aggravate me, the reporter Buffy Lewis (also fake) has the nerve to tell me, “In six hours from now, Sonny “knuckles” McGee will be here to testify before the grand jury. Extra security has been called due to the threat of a courtroom shoot out. We'll see what happens in six hours, now back to you Tiffany.”
WHAT! In six hours? Is Buffy the crappy reporter kidding me? If that sort of excitement is going to happen in six hours, why is she there now? I can take a shower, spend time on my hair, detail my make-up, iron my favorite outfit, get dressed, walk to the courthouse, and actually be on the scene myself in six hours.
Honestly, Buffy Lewis is just giving me useless information, and that's just not nice. Buffy needs to be on the scene reporting during the shoot out. If Buffy is an early bird, then I'd like to suggest that maybe she arrive on the scene when people are actually showing up at the courthouse. Hey, at least something would be going on behind her. Come on people…stop playing with my emotions and do your “on-the-scene” reporting from an honest-to-goodness SCENE.
