In the wake of the Penn State scandal, it is more important than ever that men speak out about abuse.
When SafeHaven of Tarrant County created its Legacy of Men event to address the role of men as role models and leaders, the organization reached out to respected and high-profile football coaches and athletes, role models all
University of Texas head coach Mack Brown and TCU head coach Gary Patterson have spoken, joined by former collegiate and NFL greats Bob Lilly and Don McPherson as well as Aledo Bearcats football coach Tim Buchanan in a call for men to be role models for their fellow men.
In the aftermath of the Penn State scandal, where a former assistant coach is accused of sexually abusing young boys, and members of the administration, including respected coach Joe Paterno, appear to have turned a blind eye, Legacy of Men is more relevant than ever, says Mary Lee Hafley, SafeHaven president and CEO.
There seems to be this code of silence among many men that they hold their sense of loyalty to one another more sacred than doing what's decent," Hafley said.
Those who know about abuse but don't stop it must shoulder as much guilt as the man perpetrating the act," she said.
Tony Porter, co-founder of A Call To Men, a national organization addressing domestic and sexual violence prevention and the promotion of healthy manhood will be keynote speaker at the 4th Annual Legacy of Men breakfast, Feb. 21, at the Renaissance Worthington Hotel.
While we normally feature former collegiate all-stars or present college coaches, we felt led to bring in Tony for our 2012 event," Hafley said. "We actually booked him several months ago. In the light of the Penn State issue, he is the ideal speaker.
Longtime SafeHaven supporter Bill Bowie, COO of Resin Technology Inc. and a partner in Olenjack's Grille, chairs this year's event.
Bowie says that men can have a great impact on domestic violence by educating themselves to the realities and facts of these horrific crimes and sharing that information with other men.
Say something. The facts show that if we educate those with whom we have contact and our circle of influence continues to grow, we can change the status quo," Bowie said. "We are all impacted by the sheer brutality of this cancer in our society. We have a choice to turn and look away or say something.
Patterson said that many he works with in the TCU football program are very involved with SafeHaven, including Fort Worth, Texas magazine Owner/Publisher Hal Brown.
You have to be able to give back. When you're in my business, you've got 125 kids. We have a whole program about domestic violence on campus, and [part of that is teaching] what "no" means. That's important," Patterson said.
Lilly said he didn't realize how high the statistics of domestic violence were until Brown involved him in the event.
You read about it, but you don't put together in your head that one out of four women is abused - and no telling how many children. That just shouldn't go on," he said.
The Penn State scandal may eventually save hundreds or thousands of children, although at a very high cost, Hafley said.
Our hearts and prayers go out to the young boys and families affected by this terrible situation, and we look forward to a day when men protect innocent children and abused women rather than the guilty just because they are their fellow men," she said.
Bowie said he cannot imagine the pain of a mother who fears she and her children could be harmed by the one person they should be able to trust and love most.
This crime is a men's issue," he said. "Until we the men step up and say that this is unacceptable and we will not turn away any longer, we are going to continue seeing the horrific headlines we see almost daily.
