Q: Last weekend I had a dinner with some girlfriends, and before I left I overheard my husband on the phone with one of his buddies. He was explaining that he couldn't get together that night because he was "babysitting" the kids. How can I explain to my husband that watching his own children isn't babysitting?
A: What an interesting perception your husband has of parenting. Is your husband a teenage girl with freckles and braces? Does he expect money at the end of the evening when you return? Just make sure he knows where all of the emergency numbers are on the fridge and that he doesn't let the kids stay up too late.
While gender duties were once very segregated, couples today share the roles and responsibilities of parenting. Mothers can choose to work or stay home, as can fathers. The responsibility of watching the kids is not just mom's job. Dad should be equally involved. I would have a serious chat with your hubby about how he views the time he spends with your children. I don't know your husband or all the details of your relationship, so he could have been joking with his buddy on the phone. I would want to know: Has he been an active participant in raising your kids? Can he recite the words to Green Eggs and Ham? Does he know how to change a diaper? Would he know that the peanut butter and jelly sandwich needs to be cut into four identical triangles?
Being a good and involved father is sexy. Wives, think back to the last time you looked at your husband playing catch with your son or pushing your daughter on the swing and thought, “Ugh, he is so unattractive.” Nope. Not ever.
So, my advice is for dads to relish this time when your kids actually want to spend time with you before they get older and get busy with their own lives.
