First World Problems

Why no one should ever have pity on me

May 14, 2013

5:36 AM

There is nothing more pathetic and less worthy of public sympathy than a person who wants for nothing and complains about everything.

I've recently caught myself making the following statements:

-“It's so hard to work the navigation in my BMW and I refuse to use a map."

-“I can't sleep late because the Mockingbirds in my trees are too loud”

-“My oriental rug smells funny and it's stressing me out”

-“I hate Burford Holly trees. People track the berries in on my floors”

Awful, just awful! Each statement is more pitiful than the one before.

Regrettably, it seems I've become that person that I always despised. I've been whining about insignificant issues. What's worse is that, while no less reprehensible, they weren't even whiny “tough guy” complaints. That's when I realized that most people would kill to have my problems . How did I come to this realization? Well, some times it takes a dose of reality to make you realize just how good you've got it. For better or for worse, karma finally gave me that opportunity. After a brief encounter with an angle grinder, I took a trip to the E.R. That's manly, right?

Yes, that hairy, pale drumstick is my leg. Let's see if they let me post that.

Fortunately, I wasn't shot in a housing project or hit by a car while panhandling for change. I was redoing my kitchen for custom countertops and designer appliances. Aww, poor, pitiful me.

Granted, I am doing the demo work myself and though it smarts a bit, it's a lot less painful than sleeping on a street corner or doing something unsavory to pay the rent.

One thing I did learn, however, is that our city has great some great hospitals. Say what you will about 1600 Pennsylvania in D.C., but I'd better not hear a cross word about the men and women at 1301 Pennsylvania in Fort Worth. Be you one of the unfortunate, the unlucky or, in my case, the uncoordinated, we have some great people burning the candle at both ends. Many thanks to all who put up with my ridiculous, albeit very pleasant requests.

Although I honestly believe that I have nothing to contribute in the way of meaningful life lessons, I wish to impart this little token of wisdom, no matter how jaded and one-sided it may be.

Any time you think your life is tough, just remember there are multitudes that would give anything to be in your shoes. Well, maybe not my shoes but you get the idea.

I'm not a journalist, I'm not a crusader for human rights and I'm certainly not a philosopher but I do know this; while the majority of our physical injuries will heal, there are plenty of people who are truly "hurting". Sadly, some of them will never get the attention that I received.

The truth is, I'm one of the luckiest people I know and I'm not going to forget it. But if I do, I'm sure my next laceration will bring me back down to Earth.

And so it goes.

---FOO BAR