
You know what I find fascinating? People who say things that are catty but the delivery is so nice that the person they're talking to doesn't get it. I'm fascinated by people who have the gift of flowery comment delivery. No matter how hard I try to really think about what I want to say, nothing comes out flowery. Here's an example….
Flowery Delivery Comment: Okay, Sally, thanks for that important information.
My Delivery: I'd like to shout out a big ‘thank you' to Sally for making this meeting even longer with more useless information.
See the difference? There is no way I could make that flowery comment. I know that I should. I know that it's the polite thing to say. I just can't do it. I see no need to encourage Sally to take more time out of everyone's life with her meeting comments. We're all now 20 minutes closer to death thanks to Sally. When you think about it, stuff like this can start to add up after a while.
I'm no Benjamin Button. I'm not aging backwards; it's time to start whittling down the amount of pointless life moments I have.
How about the person that has the energy level of a baked potato? Sooner or later you have to ask them for something, even though you know you have a better chance of getting hit by a meteorite than you do of getting anything completed or in a timely manner. Flowery people really shine at this dilemma.
Flowery Delivery Comment: Whenever you get a chance, no big rush.
My Delivery: Here ya go. No hurry, my hopes aren't all that high of ever seeing this in its entirety.
Once again, I couldn't make the flowery comment. It would take me half a day of constant pondering to even come up with that little sentence.
While I'm here, how about the person that is as sharp as a broken spork? The good news about this person is that you don't have to be too flowery with your comments…they don't know what you're talking about anyway.
Flowery Delivery Comment: Just do the best you can.
My Delivery: Why don't you go ahead and take a crack at this. I'm curious if I'll have to partially or completely redo it when you're done.
“Just do the best you can.” and “You just sit there and look pretty.” are my top two favorite flowery comments. I don't personally use them, and I wouldn't want them used on me but I always giggle when I hear them. They're such a great way of saying “You're so stupid you should consider wearing a bib and a helmet.” Just in case you’re wondering…yes, I’ve made that incredibly non-flowery remark. SHOCKER!
