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I was at a party recently (READ: Baby Shower with alcohol-the best kind) and one of the guys I rushed in college introduced me to his girlfriend in this manner:
“I want you to meet the most interesting man in the world who hasn't aged a bit in fifteen years.”
Folks, this is without question the most kick-ass introduction I have ever received. In fact, this is pretty much what I am going for:
Plus
equals
I have no idea how to upload images but considering I used to do this in Microsoft Word, I feel pretty great. <!-- /* Font Definitions */@font-face{font-family:"MS 明朝";panose-1:0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0;mso-font-charset:128;mso-generic-font-family:roman;mso-font-format:other;mso-font-pitch:fixed;mso-font-signature:1 134676480 16 0 131072 0;}@font-face{font-family:"Cambria Math";panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;mso-font-charset:1;mso-generic-font-family:roman;mso-font-format:other;mso-font-pitch:variable;mso-font-signature:0 0 0 0 0 0;}@font-face{font-family:Cambria;panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;mso-font-charset:0;mso-generic-font-family:auto;mso-font-pitch:variable;mso-font-signature:-536870145 1073743103 0 0 415 0;}@font-face{font-family:"American Typewriter";panose-1:2 9 6 4 2 0 4 2 3 4;mso-font-charset:0;mso-generic-font-family:auto;mso-font-pitch:variable;mso-font-signature:-1610612625 25 0 0 507 0;} /* Style Definitions */p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal{mso-style-unhide:no;mso-style-qformat:yes;mso-style-parent:"";margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;mso-pagination:widow-orphan;font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Cambria;mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-fareast-font-family:"MS 明朝";mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}.MsoChpDefault{mso-style-type:export-only;mso-default-props:yes;font-family:Cambria;mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-fareast-font-family:"MS 明朝";mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}@page WordSection1{size:8.5in 11.0in;margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in;mso-header-margin:.5in;mso-footer-margin:.5in;mso-paper-source:0;}div.WordSection1{page:WordSection1;}-->
And yet while some of this may be attributed to good genetics, maybe I always knew I would end on my own one day.
There's nothing wrong with being married, mind you. Yet I am pretty sure that once the women of DFW read this, I'll be flying “Hans Solo” indefinitely.
The Germans have a word that I have always liked. That word is “schadenfreude” and it means shameful joy. Like when Homer gets the bigger piece of the wishbone and causes the Leftorium to go under (Simpsons, episode 303, “When Flanders Failed”).
Well I don't roll with no stinking schadenfreude, so if you're looking for some story about a guy getting hot grits thrown on him while in the shower, this isn't that kind of story. That already happened to Al Green anyway. “Let's Stay Together” Indeed. No wonder he got religious.
Nope, I'm not here to rip on women or talk about how crappy my life is. It's actually pretty cool. I am just at a new point in my life, which is, ironically, an old point in my life. A chance to press the “rewind” button and go back in time 10 years. Right back where I started.
They say the Chinese use the same word for “Crisis” as they do for “opportunity”. So this blog aims to portray the strange and wonderful “CRISITUNITY” that is my existence (Simpsons, episode 2F08, “Fear of Flying”).
At this time I think it's important to note that in spite of having a formidable education at TCU, I've recently come to understand that much of what I know has come from “The Simpsons”, sugar packets in old truck stops and, drumroll please…..WIKIPEDIA. So keep verifying those sources, kids. The MTV generation depends on you.
In the next few days and from here until the end of time, I will be slicing off little cold cuts of insight and I'll be asking questions as well. So as I learn to use a computer, I want to hear from you as well.