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I don't know about yours, but my kids have the darndest timing. Case in point: No sooner had I hit the end-call button on my business-related phone call yesterday evening than my sixth-grader assailed me with a somewhat, shall we say, delicate question. Because this is a family-friendly publication, I will spare you the details, save for this: The red-faced query regarded a “device,” the name of which was apparently wending its way around the middle-school halls. (Random side note: As I write this, my hunter-gatherer cat is mewing plaintively at me from his exterior window perch, proudly displaying his “catch” of the day: a big, fat lizard, sandwiched in his chops. To say I'm horrified is putting it mildly. Felines, it seems, have pretty skewed timing too.)
Anyway … He was visibly embarrassed, his 13-year-old brother nearly spit out his omelet, his 6-year-old sister quietly took it all in and I — clever mom that I am — reacted in what I consider to be a very rational manner.
First, I busted out laughing. (OK, so he caught me off-guard, but honestly my giggles diffused any awkwardness he was feeling.) Then I did what any progressive-minded mama would do.
I immediately called my stepdad and asked him to deliver the info.
Which he did. Quite eloquently, in fact. Well, maybe not in the manner of the Great Bard , mind you. But he definitely relayed the facts, leaving no room for misinterpretation.
After which, my 11-year-old informed me that he already knew the definition of said “device” — he just needed a smidge of confirmation.
Oh, joy.
But here's the deal, my parental peeps: Kids are going to have questions, and they're going to ask them … in their own time, in their own blushing way. And let me assure you that the grilling will always happen when you're least expecting it and at the most inopportune time. But it's just as embarrassing for them to ask as it is for us to answer; and I'm glad he feels safe enough with me to inquire about potentially mortifying stuff.
Now, I'm no expert — and don't for one second contend to be — but I think it's so critical for us to be upfront and honest with our children, never criticizing or making them feel bad about tackling sensitive topics. Because, trust me, if they don't get the facts from us, they'll get them from somebody. And I don't know about you, but I'd much prefer to be the one doing the answering.
Or asking my stepdad to pinch-hit for me.
