When making a mad dash to a destination, some take the old adage — and basic mathematical fact — the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, to heart. Such travelers will plug their final destination into their map apps, put on an audiobook or two, stick to monotonous interstates, and stop only to fill their cars and relieve their bladders.
But for those who enjoy the slow burn of a long drive and see the open road as an opportunity to see more, eat more, and do more, then beelining it to one’s point of disembarkation will likely seem counterintuitive. Instead, to these folks, a single trip will have many side trips — points of interest that might require one to hop off the interstate for a spell and, ultimately, take some state highways and backroads to get to where they wanna go. Whether it’s a catfish joint that has a five-star rating on Yelp, the world’s largest peanut, or a museum of toilet seats, there are some experiences worthy of veering you off track.
Amarillo
We know, Amarillo is near the dead center of the Texas Panhandle, an area known for, well, not much at all. But don’t sleep on this sizeable (pop. 200,000) city known as the “Yellow Rose of Texas” — and the “Helium Capital of the World,” mind you. Amarillo’s strange isolation — it’s a four-plus-hour drive to anywhere — makes it a breeding ground for weirdness, and we’re fortunate enough to live within driving distance.
Perhaps one of our state’s most well-known public art installations, Cadillac Ranch resides just west of the city in a cow pasture off Interstate 40. The sculpture features 10 Cadillacs buried nose-first into the dry Amarillo soil, with nothing but their rear wheels and tailfins visible. The installation’s been around since 1974, though it was relocated to its current spot in 1997. If you decide to take the short walk through the pasture to the cars, we recommend having a can of spray paint in tow; spray painting the cars is not only allowed but encouraged. So, this might be your lone opportunity to graffiti without any repercussions — aside from inhaling vapors.
For food, you have one option: steak. Sure, Amarillo has all the usual suspects with delicious Thai and Mexican joints, but any trip to the Panhandle, even if red meat isn’t your thing, must include a stop at the Big Texan Steak Ranch. It’s an old-school steakhouse with an enormous dining room, taxidermic heads consistently in patrons’ fields of vision, and a famous 72-ounce steak to boot. While it’s become a tad touristy in recent years, they still serve up some delicious, and gargantuan, cuts of meat. And a quick word to the wise, when you’re in Amarillo, be sure to pronounce it “Am-ur-il-ah.”
Where to stop:
B. Aurora/Boyd. It’s slightly unjust for two neighboring towns with a total population of 2,400 to have this many quirky attractions. Right off U.S. Route 287, Aurora is home to an alien gravesite — with a historical marker to boot — where a UFO pilot was laid to rest in 1897. Next door in Boyd is the International Exotic Animal Sanctuary, where you can check out bears, wolves, jaguars, and white tigers. We don’t recommend these towns as mere bathroom stops.
C. Nocona. A sign reads “Leather goods center of the Southwest” when you enter Nocona via State Highway 82. The sign is old — and both Justin Boots and Nocona Boot Company have left — but the statement rings true to this day. The old Nocona Boot Company factory, an art deco masterpiece, has transformed into a giant boot store aptly called Old Boot Factory, and the Montague Boot Company, established in downtown Nocona, makes boots for the Larry Mahan line at Cavender’s Boot City. Don’t walk away from this town without a new pair.
D. Quanah. We recommended stopping in Quanah for some grub at The Medicine Mound Depot Restaurant, a no-frills, homestyle-cooking type of joint that serves steak fingers and keeps the aluminum foil on the baked potato. While you can’t go wrong with any dish, just be sure to get some Armadillo Eggs, four cheeses deep-fried into balls with jalapeño ranch dipping sauce.
E. Palo Duro. A hop and a skip from Amarillo, this state park is the nation’s second largest canyon system. Be sure to pack some hiking shoes.
Fort Worth to Amarillo Photo Ops:
Decatur: Metal Dice and Mural, 1930s Sinclair Station
Bowie: World’s Largest Bowie Knife
Wichita Falls: Largest Shovel in Texas
Oklaunion: Convertible Mannequins
Canyon: Cadillac Ranch in Combines
New Orleans
The Big Easy. NOLA. Crescent City. New Orleans might challenge Fort Worth for most — and most bizarre — nicknames. And, like our own town, New Orleans is steeped in a well-defined culture. Contrary to popular belief, that culture has little to do with overindulgence and heaving on Bourbon Street and is, instead, infused with music, soul, larger-than-life personalities, horrifying lessons in history, delectable and distinctive cuisine, and inspiring art.
Once in New Orleans, it’s easy to get swept into the hubbub of Bourbon Street and Harrah’s; and we don’t judge those who partake. But New Orleans has so much more to offer. From taking a tour of the Garden District, where you’ll get the interesting — albeit at times creepy — stories behind the city’s historic mansions, to taking a stroll down the lively and eccentric Frenchmen Street, the city has a little something for everyone.
One of the more frustrating things about New Orleans is the fact that every corner of the city seems worthy of an iPhone photo op. So, it’s difficult not to advise visitors to wander around the French Quarter and take in the city’s vast examples of nearly every architectural style. If you’re in the mood to become accustomed to New Orleans’ more chilling side, the cemetery tours and New Orleans Pharmacy Museum should be right up your alley. You also can’t skip out on Studio Be, a massive warehouse filled with Brandan “BMike” Odums’ stunning visual art. The pieces adorning every nook and cranny of the building are all at once jarring, provocative, and alluring.
Last but not least, it would be a crime to leave New Orleans without partaking in some Creole cuisine. While a place like Broussard’s offers a phenomenal ambience and highfalutin fare, we prefer to keep it simple with a place like The Market Café on the edge of the French Quarter. The jambalaya is on point, the red beans and rice delicious, and the price completely reasonable.
Where to stop:
B. Lindale. Right off the bat, let’s grab lunch. Petty’s Steak and Catfish isn’t the only reason to visit Lindale, but it might be the best reason. The down-and-dirty diner with a chalkboard full of specials offers up some of the state’s best-tasting catfish fillets that come fresh and perfectly fried.
C. Jacksonville. Okay, we admit, this isn’t so much a stop as it is a slow roll. Its kitschy name aside, the Cherokee Trace Drive-Thru Safari located in Jacksonville is the perfect spot to check out — and get exceptionally close to — some herbivorous creatures. With over 30 species of animals that are undoubtedly not native to Texas, the experience is akin to being transported to an African safari, except in the comfort of your own car instead of a topless Land Rover.
D. Alexandria. After a long haul, it might not be a bad idea to grab some shut-eye at downtown Alexandria’s Hotel Bentley, which has been putting up guests since 1907. The marble-filled lobby with intricate crown molding and a Sistine Chapel-esque muraled ceiling are worthy of the stop in themselves. And if your stomach’s feeling a little empty, grab a black bean burger from the nearby Diamond Grill before heading to Finnegan’s Wake for a nightcap.
E. Lafayette. With a trove of man-eating reptiles and enough mosquitoes to reignite a malaria epidemic, it’s a good idea to get a guide if you want to venture out into the Louisiana swamplands. This spot, Cajun Country Swamp Tours, located just outside Lafayette on Lake Martin, is the perfect way to enjoy all the beautiful and deadly flora and fauna of the bayou. The crawfish skiffs are sure to get all patrons into the heart of the swamp, and the guide holds a degree in zoology and botany, so he’ll be well prepared if you’re the inquisitive type.
F. Vacherie. If you have an image of an antebellum plantation in your mind, this is likely the one you’re imagining. An alley of oak trees. Greek revival columns. Perfectly manicured hedges. It checks every box. The tour of the plantation includes exhibits on slavery at the plantation and the Civil War.
Fort Worth to New Orleans Photo Ops:
Tyler: Big Teddy Bear Statues
Kilgore: World’s Richest Acre
Longview: Fly Thru Beer Barn
Marshall: Route 66 Gas Station
Big Bend National Park
A smorgasbord of geological wonders, Big Bend National Park isn’t a mere weekend trip. In fact, it could take a couple weeks to pack in everything this mammoth-sized, 1,252-square-mile park has to offer. Cascading waterfalls. Wildlife that’s both beautiful and frightening. Narrow canyons. Colorful badlands. Long hikes that are, likewise, both beautiful and frightening. Big Bend is like every national park coalescing into one; it even has a freaking hot spring.
Unfortunately, its location — bordering Mexico and a solid mile-plus drive from anything resembling civilization (Terlingua notwithstanding) — also makes it one of the more inaccessible national parks this side of the Colorado. While it might take a few tanks of gas to get there, it’s worth every penny you pour into fueling up.
Some must-do and must-see attractions include the Chisos Mountains Basin, a jaw-dropping alpine valley submerged in monolithic-like rock formations, including the well-known Casa Grande. You’ve likely seen pictures — it serves as the Old Faithful/Half Dome of Big Bend — they don’t do it justice. And, conveniently, this is where you’ll also find the park’s only lodging and restaurant, as well as a ranger station, campground, gift shop, and amphitheater. (As a side note, we highly recommend using the Chisos Mountains lodging or campground; no other spot will offer the same stunning views.) Another must includes dipping your toes in the aforementioned hot springs, which was the area’s first tourist attraction and is part of a former resort completed by J.O. Langford in 1927. If you’re interested in taking in sights on foot, we suggest the Window View Trail, a 0.3-mile walk accessible to hikers of all levels. This short trail offers stunning views of the peaks surrounding the Chisos Mountains Basin.
Where to stop:
B. Glen Rose. Just as you’re leaving Fort Worth, where the hills start to get a little … hillier, lies Dinosaur Valley State Park. This gem of a geological park includes beautiful layered rock formations that have been molded by the Paluxy River. Oh, and you can see dinosaur footprints, too.
C. San Angelo. With a population that’s barely pushing six digits, there’s a surprising amount of things to do in this charming West Texas city. Historic Fort Concho and the well-curated collection at the San Angelo Museum of Fine Arts are both worthy of your time. But for our money, we like the International Waterlily Collection, where you can meander through dozens of lily ponds that nearly put Claude Monet to shame — nearly. For dinner, we recommend the PV Deli by chef Jason — who recently expanded to Dallas — at his original San Angelo location. For lodging, stay at the Old Central Firehouse Bed and Brew, where they repurposed an old fire station into a surprisingly modern — and modestly priced — bed and breakfast.
D. Alpine. Sorry, Fort Worth, you weren’t the first to call Reata, with its legendary slabs of steak, home. That distinction belongs to the tiny town of Alpine, which doubles as the gateway to Big Bend. After the long yet scenic drive from San Angelo to Alpine, we have a feeling you might be game for some tastes-like-home grub.
E. Marfa. Marfa gets far more attention than any town of a mere 2,000 folks has a right to. But when a town’s artists per capita is as high as this quirky settlement, it’s bound to attract some good press. The brilliantly juxtaposed Prada store is a must for Instagrammers and selfie aficionados, but we also think the Chinati Foundation, a contemporary art museum with brilliant, interactive sculptures, is also worthy of your time. After checking out the famed Marfa lights, call it the night at El Cosmico, where you can have your choice of a yurt, tepee, trailer, or Cosmic Kasita. Why you wouldn’t choose the latter, we don’t know.
Fort Worth to Big Bend Photo Ops:
Cleburne: Rotten Old Merman
Dublin: Made Original Dr. Pepper
Eastland: Big Soup Can
Ballinger: Giant Cross
Fort Stockton: Giant Roadrunner
Memphis
This town can claim a lot of births: Memphis barbecue, Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, blues, rock ‘n’ roll, Justin Timberlake. But it’s the city’s role as one of the epicenters of the civil rights movement that has had the greatest impact. Visiting the National Civil Rights Museum, located at the Lorraine Motel where Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated in 1968, is an essential sight one must visit if they’re to come to Memphis. The museum includes exhibits on the vital events that shaped the movement, including the Montgomery bus boycott and the Memphis sanitation strikes.
In the hope that you’re not completely museumed out, the city is also home to two institutions that should be required viewing by all music fans: the Stax Museum of American Soul Music and the Memphis Rock ‘n’ Soul Museum. Both offer impressive collections and interactive exhibits that tell gripping stories of artists who were ahead of their time. And, naturally, one can’t skip Graceland — home of Elvis Presley — or Sun Studio, where both the King and Johnny Cash got their start in the industry.
After you’ve been fully educated on Memphis’ unparalleled historical impact, you can let loose on Beale Street, the Home of the Blues. With 25 bars and restaurants that line the few hundred yards of the street’s western side, it’s wall-to-wall people, drinks, and music on a typical Friday or Saturday night. For food, check out Miss Polly’s Soul City Café, where you’ll unfortunately have to usurp Memphis barbecue for chicken and waffles (go to Cozy Corner, north of downtown, for the best ’cue in the city). For drinks, Silky O’Sullivan’s has a killer ambience and dueling pianos. After hitting all that up, crash at the swanky Hotel Napoleon. It might take a couple of days, but you’ll eventually thank us.
Where to stop:
B. Sulphur Springs. In a city that touts its dairy museum and public library as its biggest attractions — we mean no offense to either — it’s easy to see why a glass restroom might become a major point of interest. Yes, to reiterate, Sulphur Springs has two glass bathrooms on their downtown square, which sounds like a nightmare for someone with an anxious bladder.
C. Murfreesboro. Please excuse the all-too-obvious pun, but Murfreesboro, Arkansas, is a diamond in the rough. The city of a mere 1,600 residents is home to two attractions that allow tourists to get their hands dirty. The first, Crater of Diamonds State Park, is promoted as one of only a few places in the world where visitors can search for real diamonds and, so far, patrons have discovered more than 33,100 diamonds, which they all got to keep. The second attraction is the Ka-Do-Ha Indian Village, which can be excavated for authentic arrowheads.
D. Hot springs. After building up some dirt and sweat from the previous stop, a bath might sound like a decent enough idea. And there might not be a better place in the nation to do this than at Hot Springs National Park. This cluster of geothermal pools sparked the construction of eight bathhouses in the early 20th century along what is today known as Bathhouse Row. On the southern end of the row is Buckstaff Bathhouse, which has operated since 1912 and offers the full spa treatment with no reservations required.
E. Little Rock. If you have time, check out the impressive William J. Clinton Presidential Library, located just northeast of downtown along the Arkansas River. The library includes an impressive collection of exhibits and the largest archives of any president. While there, grab a bite and enjoy the beautiful views of the Arkansas Bridge at 42 bar and table; you’ll be blown away regardless of political persuasion. To get a good night’s sleep, head to the Capital Hotel, a posh 150-year-old hotel located just two blocks from the state capitol.
Fort Worth to Memphis Photo Ops:
Royse City: Flying Saucer House
Photo Op Greenville: Big Swordfish and Seahorse
Texarkana: Indoor Muffler Man
Baton Rouge: Old State Capital in Louisiana
